Thriving

Other things to expect when marrying out your race & class

Following on from this video on The Pink Pill YouTube channel, here are four more things you might experience when you date or marry in a different socioeconomic class:

  • You might be the only black person around

    When marrying outside your race or class, you may find that you are often the only black woman around. It may be that your beau is not American, like the recent marriage of conservative media darling Candace Owens to Brit George Farmer, and you may not see another black person for weeks while you visit your in-laws. While that may be a daunting task for some, it shouldn’t be – carrying yourself in a positive light showing off your natural charms can make you an excellent ambassador on behalf of the collective of black women, to an audience that may have a jaundiced view of black womanhood due to media messages and simply a lack of exposure.

  • Social norms in your ecosystem may be viewed as an egregious slight in others

    Rich people are no strangers to being tacky, tasteless or full on unhinged. But many times there can be unspoken rules, almost like a coded language, that exists, and you only find out about it when your mistake has been made. One such example is “colored/black people time”, a name to describe the phenomenon of people of color frequently showing up to events late. This may be viewed by someone of a higher class as disrespectful, and tells your host that your time is more valuable than theirs, hence the late arrival. Another such phenomena is turning up to a house empty-handed; it looks pretty tacky when you’re going to a dinner party and have nothing to offer your gracious host but an open mouth and empty stomach ready to eat their food.

  • Black dysfunction is different from upper echelon dysfunction

    Once again, having money or being of a different race or class does not remove the risk of being completely insane. But Keisha’s complaints about her boyfriend of 10 years balking at the idea of marriage every time it comes up is a little bit different from when Olivia-Kayleigh complaining that she and her boyfriend just can’t agree on their wedding venue so they’ve decided to let the wedding planner take the lead.

  • You may find yourself dabbling in hobbies you never knew existed

    Getting partnered with men outside your tax and cultural bracket may mean you go on adventures that you may not have otherwise had. In some wealthier circles seasons become verbs, so you may find yourself wintering with your beau and his friends on the ski slopes, or summering in the vineyard of a friend of the family. You may try your hand at polo or join a sailing club to learn more about boats, who knows! Dating (and simply having friends) in different socioeconomic classes broadens your horizons and can allow you to experience life outside the usual black experience.

 

These are only a few things you might encounter when dealing with people outside your own socioeconomic bracket. Have you experienced any of these? Do share in the comments below!

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