The Question:

I’m struggling in how to cope in a marriage where I hear racial prejudice and insults. My husband is white, I am African American. He listens to Rush Limbaugh religiously, and makes insulting comments in the form of “jokes.” He is a physician, and I quit my job to be his housewife. I am a devout Christian and know that this is honorable in Gods eyes even if our marriage isn’t. Everything I have is in his name. He bought me a car, our home, he pays my student loans, everything. My family is poorer than poor. I don’t have much to fall back on.

My chief concerns about this situation are many, unfortunately.

While it may be pretty cool to be a trophy wife–and I certainly love seeing black women being loved and cared for like many of the white female counterparts, I never think it’s a good idea to relinquish ALL of your interests in order to do so. Even trophy wives are PTA presidents, head fundraisers and volunteer in charities, have hobbies, and if they don’t have kids, work! Heck! They work even if they DO have kids. They do it for fun, or they do it to keep their skills sharp. This is not the 1900’s. I’m a stay-at-home mom and haven’t worked outside of the home in 12 years. But…as you can see…I’ve found a hobby. 😉

My second concern is about how many Christians believe that God honors marriage so much that the union itself is MORE important than the people in said union. God “loves” marriage so much he’s willing to sit by and let one of the members be abused? Not the God I love, sorry.

This man is also very unreliable when it comes to marriage, and as Dr. Phil says, the best predictor for future behavior can be based on what’s happened in the past. This man has been thrice married–two blonds before his African American model. Common denominators and all that…