The Question:

Hey Christleyn,

First let me say thank you for all that you do. It’s been a long road for me to become fully comfortable with interracial dating, but now I swirl without a care in the world and that’s all thanks to you. I read your book Swirling then stumbled upon your YouTube channel months later so I was pretty excited to find out that you were the same woman who co-authored such an amazing book.

My question is somewhat simple: Am I too young for online dating? Of course, I am old enough to make an account (I am a 21 year old college student) and I’m looking for a serious and lasting relationship. Yet, I feel too young to be taken seriously, or to pursue a relationship seriously. College takes up a lot of my time (I’m a chemistry major) but part of me feels like I just have cold feet about the whole thing. I’ve never been in a serious relationship before and the statistics about black women and marriage tend to psych me out, especially considering that I want to pursue an MD/PhD degree after college and become a neurosurgeon…I really hope I don’t have to choose between love and a cool career. I’ve never been a fan of online dating for many reasons. I think most of those reasons have to do with the fact that I haven’t looked at interracially themed websites (until now, thanks to you). Meeting singles in person has gotten me nowhere thus far, so I’m trying not to depend on meeting Mr. Right by chance in the bread aisle of Trader Joe’s or at school, and instead keeping my options open. I am also trying to join clubs in my area to meet singles, but alas. Where is the time? Do you have any advice for a swirler like myself?

Again, thank you so much for the videos you make, the content you create, and the platforms that you provide for people like me and people interested in me. None of what you do is easy to find online, as you know, and the image you project of black women makes me so hopeful. I really appreciate it.

Here’s my take…