Dear Christelyn,

I’m feeling really low about this, so please don’t put up my name. I met a nice Hispanic guy at a college party and he really seemed into me. We went on two dates, and all he could do is talk about how beautiful I was. And so, we had sex. He hasn’t called since, and it’s been a week. He doesn’t go to my school so I don’t see him around, but I feel like shit, like I just wasted myself. Not sure if you can give any advice, but I’d welcome it.

The age-old mystery. Guy meets girl. Girl likes guy…a lot. Girl gives (yes gives) away the goods. Boy never calls again. I get seriously bummed about hearing stuff like this, because the whole feminist sex agenda clap-trap about how women should be prolific in their promiscuousness as men do have and are, is just giving young women a load to cow pucky wrapped in a little pink bow.

Listen. This is basic biology. Women CAN NOT have casual sex with hundreds of men without feeling like something unrecognizable that the cat dragged in during a rainstrom. What these feminazis fail to acknowledge is that the female brain undergoes CHEMICAL CHANGES when she lays down with a man and has meaningless sex. I’m convinced that no emotionally stable woman can have a string of studs boinking her without her feeling a void half the size of the Grand Canyon. It just can not be done. Ever look at female porn stars? Most of them have to be higher than the fat lady in church who just caught the Holy Ghost to do what they do. They also look like some dirty essence of every dude that put it it in is still up there somewhere.

Hey look. I didn’t make this stuff up, and if you don’t like it, picket the pharmaceutical companies until they make a drug that allows you to think like a man and f*&k like a man. You know I’m all “No Wedding No Womb,” but I’m not naive. People have sex. People LIKE sex. But in addition to protecting yourself physically, you have to protect yourself emotionally.