Here are my top 6 observations gleaned from watching the Olympics opening ceremony…

1. Athletes are much better looking than the average person. Working out for hours on end every day will tone your body up in ways that us mere mortals can’t even imagine. I think those athletes have probably developed muscles in their bodies that the rest of us don’t even know we have. They’re faces were symmetrical. Even the folks who came from nations known for being cold seemed to have perfectly sun-kissed skin.

2. The uniforms were so stylish. The men looked handsome and dapper; the women looked sleek and classy. I bet many of the uniforms were made in China, just like the U.S. uniforms.

3. Many of the swimmers and gymnasts were there because they have to begin competing within the next day or two. I was looking forward to eye stalking looking at the swimmers enter the field; those guys are absolutely gorgeous. It is my personal belief that swimmers and soccer players have the best bodies.

4. There were many people of color front and center during the performance. Plenty of golden-, brown-, and chocolate-colored people were mixed into the performers singing and dancing their behinds off. LOVED IT!!!

5. Daniel Craig is a beautiful specimen of a man. I’m already looking forward to seeing Mr. Craig in the next Bond movie.

6. The Queen of England is a bad chick. And I mean ‘bad’ in a good way. I hope my kids will keep me dressed that fly when I’m as old as the queen.

And here’s a totally unnecessary photo of the US Men’s Olympic swimmers Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte. *said in my best imitation of Austin Powers voice* “Yes Please!”

More gratuitious photos of mostly naked men, courtesy of a few fellas from the Australian Men’s Olympic swimming team.

What are your thoughts on the Olympics and the opening ceremony thus far? What sports are you looking forward to watching?