Years ago, I had a personal trainer who said something in a casual conversation that has stuck with me for well over a decade now. “Excuses are like assh*les: everybody has one and they all stink.” Being the type who doesn’t mind it straight and without chaser, I loved the cutthroat nature of his statement in the moment and after some personal reflection, I appreciated it for its truth.

These days, the “thing” is to talk about us living our “best life.” We post pics on our newsfeeds with women running up and down the beach, getting engaged in Paris, or married to some wealthy actor/test pilot/James Bond type of man and declare, “Yaaaas!”

But, I learned that your “yaaaas!” will cost you many “noooos” on the journey to your “best life.” My journey to “yaaaas!” has cost me a marriage (a huge blessing) and accepting the status quo. My journey to “yaaaas!” has cost me the extra hour I’d rather be asleep or sitting on my ass doing nothing. My journey to “yaaaas!” has cost me pizza and the bread basket and Cheetos (classic, not that hot mess). My journey to “yaaaas!” has cost me the comfort of a “regular” life in exchange for believing in my gift and that it will make room for me. My “yaaaas!” has cost me my secure self-imposed muzzle for the sake of keeping familial peace.

I had to ask myself a simple question: was I more dedicated to my transformation than I was to my stagnancy; dysfunction even?

A truism in life that I’ve come to accept as such is that people do what they want to do and people don’t do what they don’t want to do. In other words, we decide. Whatever it is, we decide. It wasn’t until I shook myself and accepted that I’m the decider, that I saw things that I had wanted to change in my life, some for years, actually begin to shape up into what I wanted them to be. I also had to accept the fact that decisions that will do me any good will often be the hardest decisions to make.

If we accept that something is worth what someone is willing to pay for it, we must accept that it doesn’t matter if it’s abs, financial stability, peace of mind, or a great bond, what we want will require us to choose. As with all choices, something stays and something goes.

If you’re an honest person, you’ll admit that in many BWE circles, the amount of cheering and commentating from the sidelines doesn’t necessarily match individual action. The question must be asked: how many of us are willing to stop just cheering the image and make the sacrifices necessary to actually be that which we aspire to be?

How much are you willing to pay for your “yaaaas!?”