Have any of you heard about Stephanie Smith? Well she’s a Black woman who is dating a White man. Well one day she made him a sandwich and he joked that she was “300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring”. Now that was a joke. They laughed. But she decided to actually make him a bunch of different sandwiches, 177 to date, and she chronicles her recipes on her blog ‘300 Sandwiches‘.

In her follow-up article she said she is not looking for a book deal but I wouldn’t criticize her if she was, or if she got one. She’s a reporter, she had a creative idea, and she’s getting the attention she wants from it. Nowadays if you have a creative idea and can make money off it, without hurting anyone, I think that should be applauded. But feminists are up in arms about her story (Article 1, Article 2, Article 3,  Article 4). Feminists don’t like that she’s cooking in an effort to woo him, yet many of those same feminists don’t think marriage is necessary, are okay with open marriages, and don’t think women need men at all. Many of the feminists dislike women doing traditional things (e.g., cooking, cleaning, sewing, etc.) in order to make men (and even children) happy. Personally, I would rather keep my standards high and make a few sandwiches rather than forgo marriage, share my man, do degrading things in the bedroom, or put up with the awful behaviour some people convince women to tolerate.  Also, if you have a good man then he will sacrifice for you (I’m looking at you Bridezillas and your big expensive engagement rings, weddings, and gifts).

Unfortunately, Black women AND men are also speaking out against the Ms. Smith! Let’s not kid ourselves, if her boyfriend was Black a lot of people wouldn’t have a problem with this. They still support Black men when they date and marry non-Black women, but Black women who date out seem to be attacked for whatever they do. So if you read posts and comments about the story (Article 1; Article 2), you will see many of the criticisms are based on race and insults about her boyfriend’s appearance and sexual orientation.

Here is the hypocrisy when it comes to Black people. You have rappers who are former gang bangers and drug dealers, making rap music full of the n-word, bragging about how great they are, and being total misogynists. They are basically making Black men and women look bad for the entire world. Black people are pressured to support them because they are ‘just trying to make a living’, ‘it’s hard out there for black men’,  ‘they are artists doing the only thing they know’, ‘we should support them doing something productive and not criminal’ etc. But here you have a Black woman, who creatively turned a joke into a blog, and potentially some income and people are being haters! Black men are allowed to “hustle” while throwing the Black community under the bus, but a black woman can’t do something different to get some attention? She’s making sandwiches, those very things that we all pay strangers to make for us in restaurants that we all like to eat (Supportive Article 1, Article 2). Why not make our own and make them for the people we love to show our affection, save money, reduce calories, and be more self-sufficient? Are there not other non-professional chefs and foodies who are now making a living off their unique recipes or stories? Why not Stephanie Smith? Because she’s a Black woman, traditionally feminine, and dating a White man that’s why!

(Note: I call her traditionally feminine because she wants to get married, have kids, smiles, makes herself look pretty, wears dresses, cooks, and attempts to please her man. These are things a lot of “modern women” say are bad for women and anti-feminist).

Here’s a Article that I wrote a long time ago about the value of cooking. For the right guy, making sandwiches and cupcakes really is an act of love.