The author, a man married to a black women, calls himself, “V, The Writer.”

“Bottom of the barrel.”

That’s how a recent contributor described black women in the dating pool. I’m generally very wary about participating in internet “discussions,” but I took particular offense to this since I certainly do not view my wife as the “bottom of the barrel.” I was bothered enough to write a lengthy email to Ms. Karazin, and she was gracious enough to allow me to contribute my point of view, hence this article.

A while ago, I had come to the conclusion that I live in a different world than the rest of the country. I never put much thought into it until recently, but I can’t find any other explanation for the difference that I see between me and others. It has nothing to do with skin color (which seems to be the American obsession these days). I am an alpha male, surrounded by betas.

I never really understood that I was an alpha male since it was all I knew. If you live in the desert, then all you know is the desert. All I knew was the life of an alpha. Everyone I associated with were alphas. I never considered betas as “betas;” I just knew that some people were different from me. But I lived my life the way I saw fit and am now where I am today (which also helps explain my anonymity. I had a very specific job in the military, made my enemies, stayed in the field of work, and would rather stick to the shadows than try and get attention).

Alphas attract alphas and reject betas. I’ve been around the world and this seems to be true everywhere. I know people have a misconception of alphas as being aggressive and violent, but I have to disagree. Betas often get unnecessarily violent to prove dominance. Alphas don’t have to. I think what defines the alpha is the willingness to solve a problem to our benefit. We fix problems and we make things happen. Ms. Karazin, for example (through her work and determination when it comes to NWNW and “Swirling”) has also proven to be an alpha.

My wife is also an alpha. Statistically speaking, she should be at the “bottom of the barrel.” She’s a dark-skinned black woman with an identifiably black name (as in, a hiring manager sees it on a resume and automatically knows she’s a black woman) who grew up on Section 8 and does not have a college degree. Many women in these circumstances break and are damaged, but my wife is an alpha. She understood her situation and made alpha choices. Now she makes more money than I do and loves her career. People often say we live a storybook life, but we understand that we live the life we want to live because we chose to build it that way. We didn’t wait for good things to happen to us; we caused the good things to happen to us. We are alphas. She’s also pretty hot, which is a bonus.

Unfortunately, the alpha life had skewed my viewpoint. I knew racism existed, but it had no place in my alpha life. Alphas are interested in results. And since alphas attract alphas, all of my black friends and family members are also alphas. We don’t have deep, thought-provoking socio-political racial discussions. We’re too busy working on our own success. We talk about money and business more than we do race, because money and business affect us more than race. We know racism exists and it affects us, but we don’t see obstacles—we see problems to solve and we do what we have to do (by the way, I’m biracial. Non-black. Have fun with that info).

When I first encountered DBR black folks through the internet (you know how one click leads to another), I thought they had to be joking. Perhaps putting on a show for comedic purposes that I didn’t comprehend, or being artistically ironic. They weren’t anything like the black men (actual men, not just a biological entity with a penis) that I knew. And (just like with a train wreck) the more I looked, the more I couldn’t look away. I understood that these people are real. I also became disheartened by people who would paint black men in a negative light, because these weren’t the guys I knew. This stereotype wasn’t my family. And then I saw this trend where DBRs try and convince people that black women aren’t attractive.

Stop right there. That’s my wife you’re talking about.

When I see a black male degrade a black woman, I don’t see the black: I see the beta. I see a man who refuses to compete with other men for quality women; he’d rather just they fall in his lap (and for alphas, the competition is part of the fun). It doesn’t bother me when DBR black men “disrespect” me online, because in order for me to be offended, I have to have some kind of regard for your opinion. Alpha vs. beta. I don’t answer to you. And even though comments are made online, none are ever made to my face (it might have to do with the fact that I’m large and scary-looking). Keep typing your hate, but watch out for that carpal tunnel.

If a black woman says that black women are unattractive, I take a step back and re-evaluate issue. I find it very suspicious if you believe no men are attracted to you. I’m a straight male. I know that we’re pigs. Trust me: we’ll hit that… unless you have some kind of other problems. “Society” does not trump male sexual urges. If “everyone” rejects you, then you need to re-evaluate the actual common denominator.

The problem with the internet is that people have selective access. Alphas have things to do. We don’t waste a lot of time starting online arguments. We’re living our lives. Betas can take the time to raise a lot of stink online. You see a lot of these people. “Trolls,” I believe they’re called. They take up a lot of space, but they’re worth nothing. Beta. They can’t get hurt online. No risk. Safe.

I don’t often see intelligent discussions online. I usually see people whining. I don’t comprehend. If you have a problem, fix it. The world sucks. Everyone has problems. Alphas change things and rise. Betas complain online and wait for things to get better.

To summarize, I don’t see many problems as being black vs. white. I see alpha vs. beta. The alpha club is quite diverse and successful, and the beta club seems to be quite vocal. That’s life. That’s how the world was and will always be. But I chose to be alpha, and I do what I do. Betas may complain as much as you want, but please be respectful and refrain from attacking women (physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally). Men protect women. That’s our job. Try to be a man. And please don’t try to blame female abuse on “black culture.” It’s not. Don’t drag all black men down to your level. You’re a special case.

“Bottom of the barrel?” That’s simply inaccurate. I suppose if that’s what you see, then that’ll be all you know. But that seems to be your problem and not mine. Beta problems, not alpha problems. And please don’t try to drag my wife down into your quagmire. She’s very desirable. Many men are angry that I “stole” her. To be frank, she’s above you. Does that sound harsh? Well, what does it matter? You’re beta. You won’t take action to change your situation, and I don’t care enough to fix your problem for you.

Have a good day.