Warning: I’mabout ta make al de black cum out.

Yesterday’s clustercuss of a thread got ugly in more ways than one, and I gotta say it: I’m ashamed and embarrassed for some of you on this board, and you know who you are. I won’t say your names, because some of ya’ll are so pathetic and needy for attention and I’m not gonna give it to you.

Now in the past, I’ve done, “Hottie of the Week,” and highlighted available EYE-CANDY for all of your enjoyment. But I guess this time, I did something that I should not have DARED: Spotlight the “Hottie” as a sweet, smart, overly-degreed, 40-year-old man who was NOT over six feet tall and lacked chiseled abdomen muscles.

Never mind he was well-travelled,

…or that he has one-two-three-four-five degrees,

…is a super-cool government agent for Homeland Security

…Went to the best schools in the DMV area, and arguably the U.S.

…Likes the opera

…Likes Broadway shows

…isn’t gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that)

Because he is rotund and NOT six feet, he’s a “white woman’s castoff.”

WTH. WTF. GTFOOH. And whatever other cuss-word initials there are I don’t know about.

I hate to say this, because it is not my wish, but I fear that many black women on this board are doomed to be single and lonely. No rainbeau of any race will want you because some of you are bitter, bitchy, entitled and in so deeply in hate with yourselves that you can’t stand it. There. I said it. You think that just because you grace some rainbeaus with you faux interest in expanding your horizons, but DEMAND the sun, moon, Mercury, Mars, Venus and Pluto.

I saw some of the most callous, shallow, cruel comments about Matthew by a bunch of chicks who think looks are the beginning, middle and end. And it’s those ladies that will be old and alone, save the 100 feline mouths they’ll take joy in feeding, surrounded by a labyrinth of newspapers stacked to the ceiling.

Somebody told you once that nobody of any worth will ever want you, and you’re hell bent on making it true.

And another thing! The media and GAT-DL have you so brainwashed into thinking men are supposed to be fetching like women and sit back and wait for you to work your arse off to support them for some good penis. Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah blah But, but, Chris you hypocrite! you write about women having to lose weight and be desirable! bleh blah wah wah wah. It’s true. Why the hay-ell do you think there’s a WHOLE FLOOR at MACY’S dedicated to the promise of making us women look hotter? Don’t be a silly rabbit. ‘Tis what it is. Men want looks, and women are SUPPOSED to be turned on by security and the ability to provide and protect the family. Oooga-Booga. Me cave girl. Who is married.

No wonder the world thinks what they think about us, we’re so effed up in our priorities. I wonder, how many on this board are true posters who are actually interested and involved in interracial relationships, and just how many moles are here just to sabotage the happiness of black women.

NOTE TO THE TROLLPANIANS:

I may be wearing a tin-foil hat right about now, but I know there’s one or two knuckle-draggers who THINK they’re smarter than me, but are sorely mistaken. I don’t like to brag, but my daddy didn’t raise a dummy. You exist here because I let you. And you best believe when I let you comment, it’s always, ALWAYS for a reason. Got it, oh inhabitants of Trollpania?

And I only have you here so everyone can see how abysmally stupid you are, and you’re so delusional you don’t even see that I’m tooling you.

Now back to the BB&W Crew:

If you want a guy who just looks good but is as vapid as vapor, there’s plenty of hook-up sites that can accommodate you. But this ain’t one of them. And for the women who feel so entitled to 10’s but are 2’s and only entertain a rainbeau “If he’s fine” better go back to the herd, because there’s plenty of fine, gorgeous, strapping ‘young bucks’ who will ride you high, lick you till you scream, and leave your shallow butts high and dry. Some of the best sex in my life was with ‘a brotha’ –no doubt I find many, many, many, many of them gorgeous, hot and sexy. That guy rocked my bells in front of the fireplace and he had me calling, and begging for another fix. But if that were enough, 99.9% of us would. not. be. here.

Oh. Did I mention he was married? With kids? And…didn’t tell me? But hey. If it’s all about the looks, well then…

Nobody’s asking you to be with someone who doesn’t turn you on. But before you criticize someone’s looks, email me your picture so I can put you up on the slide show.

BTW, I spoke with Matthew about all the comments. Yep, he was bruised, but he insisted on taking the high road and not comment. Classy.

And finally my rant is over, and I leave you with this. My dear, hilarious friend Tracy L. Scott wrote this about yesterday’s debacle.

Chrystelyns post about nerdy white guys and the responses. Up until November of last year, I would have probably been on the side of the commenters that said that Brian was too fat. I can understand their feelings – bw have to be Halle Berry’s twin while this dude is gonna try to smother some sista to death. But….those standards for bw – they were made by bm and – tell the truth – other bw. And those standards have been broken by non-perfect bw. Sometimes – alot of times – we are our own worst enemy. Anyhoo, Mike is just like dude in Chris’s post – crazy smart, multilingual like me, and very analytical. But he is also soo much fun, has a wicked sense of humour, and is sharp as a tack. His eating behind is also the cause of me gaining a bunch of weight over the winter – we will drive for two hours to some hole in the wall that serves the BEST FOOD EVAH!! I met him on an IR Website, and I thought the same thing as the commenters – fat ass please! But after several emails, several more phone calls, and finally some dates, we are still together having fun. Sometimes you have to look past a package to see what’s inside. Just make sure the package has a job and doesnt live in his parents basement….

Recognize her in the headline? Yep, that’s her man, and she’s happy as heck.