Another day, another video going viral of a black girl or woman being beaten is what I thought at first when I viewed the latest footage of a deranged white man assaulting a girl while onlookers did little to intervene on her behalf.

Did you notice that none of the MEN intervened to match the physical force the attacker directed towards the girl, who looks about 80 pounds? The men pretty much considered her invisible while they were trying to attend to the man and conclude his order. In a follow-up article, Yasmine James,  expressed dismay that no one came to her defense. “I am aware this type of violence happens to women, especially Black women, every day,” she continued in her statement. “For me, this was the last straw. I am committed to using the horrible experience as means to fight for justice, not only for myself but for women and stopping violence against women.”

Once again, it takes another black woman to stick up for black women. Apparently many black men felt like she could handle everything herself.

If the 20-year-old young lady appeared hard, it’s most likely because she has to be. There is no room for softness when that quality makes you a target for exploitation by the men in your own community. If you are bristling about the young girls posturing and language, more than likely it’s because it is the only way she has seen anyone in her community command respect. This woman was fighting like a man because no men will fight for her. Imagine if everything in the above scenario was the same, except that the victim was a little blond, blue-eyed girl.

I explain the dynamic of why so many black girls and women are fight ready in the hood, then soften when they permeate other ecosystems.

Update: Yasmine James has retained a lawyer, and has not been fired from her job at McDonald’s as some previously reported. She goes into some detail about how no one but her called the police because it’s just another Tuesday for a black woman to get beat down by somebody.

“I don’t think people took it so seriously,” says James. “Just because I am a Black woman and he was a white man that assaulted me. Like, ‘Okay, she fought this man, lets go back to work. Don’t call the police because this is normal.’ It was just going to go under the rug,” explained James.

“I didn’t like that feeling. To me it’s like if I didn’t call the police, if I didn’t do anything, who would have? I just felt like I was left alone, on my own.” [SOURCE]

Yes dear. Black women and children have been on their own for some time, and the outright refusal for pretty much all men as a collective, ESPECIALLY AND INCLUDING BLACK MEN, seem to have a complete blind spot when it comes to our humanity.

So…What’s the Solution?

I don’t want this article to end with just a tut-tut, look what happened again commentary with absolutely no solutions offered. I’m going to give it, but some people aren’t going to like it. Here it is: Black women, by now you know that your own communities do not value your femininity, well-being, and safety. What it seems like, at this point, unless a black woman is assaulted while her father or brother are present, no black men will see any reason to intervene.

The time has come to stop lamenting over what we do not have and work individually and strategically to ensure our own safety.

Part of the problem with our lack of protection is a perception problem. Girls like Yasmine are raised to take on masculine postures to protect themselves from harm. Not only that, but the media work in tandem to perpetuate the stereotype of the neck-twirling black chick who can castrate you with a mere click of her tongue. Society thinks that we’re so strong, we really don’t need help. But let’s face it–black women have also shouted that position to anyone and everyone who will listen, even though deep down, we know that isn’t true. In our deepest hearts, we want to be cherished and protected like other races of women and not have to feel so defensive all the time. We want a man–any man–to stand in the gap for us and beat the living sh!t out of any man who would deign to think he can grab us over counters, pummel us in public because we reject their romantic advances, demean and degrade us in the public square for money.

Black women have to acknowledge that the status quo is not working in our favor and that our defiant, fight-readiness is still getting us beat, raped, and killed. It’s time to make some pivotal decisions.

Get Out of the Hood, By Any Means Necessary

Make Strategic Alliances with Members Outside of the Black Community

Be Crafty About How You Respond to Insults and Threats

Ally Yourself with Men Who Have the Instinct to Protect–at Work and at Home

Avoid Dating Men Who Have Had a Chaotic Childhood

Get Therapy for YOUR Chaotic Childhood

Before I close, I want to share with you a post from a YouTube subscriber who left a comment on the video I listed above. This is how a man should love you.

However, the devil is often in the details, as it were. Many of these discussions need to be had behind closed doors, in private communities of like-minded women who know and do what is necessary to win, without the distractions of people trying to gaslight them or convince them it is their obligation to be the designated survivor of a community that repeatedly shows it would not urinate on her if she were on fire. I suggest you find one.