Written by Nicole J.

Please note: This blog contains vulgar slang referring to male and female genitals. If you have delicate sensitivities, you’ve been warned.

Being a swirling platform, we stand by the mantra of character over color and finding love in whatever package it comes in. As black women, especially in America, we face unique challenges in the dating market, such as outnumbering potential black male suitors (our natural counterparts), being more likely to be overweight (therefore not viewed as “conventionally” attractive), and victims of a smear campaign of our image from all sides in the media. These reasons and more place us where we are when it comes to relationships.

I’ve already spoken on why it’s not a good thing to simply “have a man”, as not all men would make a good mate. Before I got married, I turned down suitors for any reason. For instance, I turned one guy down because his typing and grammar was abysmal (petty, I know). So, I’m all for black women turning down any race of man, for any list of reasons, just because they want to. However, one reason in particular gives me pause.

One of the many reasons black women cite on why they are against swirling is that they can’t deal with a “pink dick”. If that’s a reason you hold dear to you for rejecting somebody, I support that, but I can’t help but feel that this one is a little juvenile.

“I don’t want a pink dick” is a common rebuttal made by black women who express their distaste for interracial dating, especially when it comes to white men. It suggests finding more issues with the shade of penis, rather than the rest of the man attached to it.

They will say they cannot lay up with the man whose ancestors raped and killed their own, while conveniently ignoring, dismissing, or willfully neglecting the thousands of black women being raped and killed by other black men, here and now. I am not denying any of the atrocities caused by the wretched, savage, and brutal years of slavery my own ancestors endured, but they’re all long dead now, and I’m more concerned about women suffering in the present than those who suffered centuries ago.

For those women who proclaim they couldn’t be with a lighter complected nonblack man because of his mauve-toned member, they certainly spend a lot of time talking about it. Look at any comment section of a YouTube video talking about why black women should expand their dating options. Without fail, there will be women proclaiming that she will have no part in “raw Vienna sausage”, and others cosigning it, which, like I said, if that’s elimination criteria, I support you, to the reject pile he goes. However, I for one don’t spend time thinking about genitalia I have no interest in, and even if I did, I wouldn’t go around blabbing it online for the world to witness. Isn’t that kind of…weird?

Is it any wonder why even the most mediocre, subpar black men can afford to be so arrogant, despite bringing the bare minimum to a relationship? He can see so many woman slobbering all over his fabulous phallus online that he knows he corners the market with black women, pretty much no matter what he does, his dick will be all he needs to find mating success.

We talk about the BBC and pink dick as mate criteria so much it almost feels that the collective of black women only requires a dark-hued penis to dick her down and she’ll be satisfied.

Consider the opposite reaction. Can someone point me in the direction of all the black men saying they wouldn’t dare court a white woman because they couldn’t lay up with pink pussy? They just couldn’t lay up with the white man’s daughter because she took part in the same slavery, Jim Crow and police brutality that has done the same atrocities to his ancestors? I absolutely believe some do feel this way, but they don’t seem to post it online in the numbers that we do, and they often don’t state the vagina color as their reason, either.

Rather, I’ve seen men say that black men partaking in pink poonani is a way of defending the black woman’s honor for all the horrors that took place centuries ago, and getting back at the white man for said horrors. To me, that seems like a hell of a lot of mental gymnastics to defend simply wanting to date out (which I support for both black men and women).

Black women’s undying loyalty to the black penis is what is causing the community to look the way it does.  The out of wedlock birth statistic is frequently mentioned in conversations like these, and it will continue to be until it is no longer a problem. If more of us sampled other color dicks, there would be more of the highly-regarded BBCs to go around, since the competition to get one would be reduced. If more black women turned to a rainbow of ramrods, maybe we wouldn’t be prominently featured in commercials for HIV medication, and less of us would be infected with herpes at rates far higher than other races of women. Pink dick is not some sort of salvation for black women, but to exclude a man who has 1) been vetted properly and 2) has proven himself to be right for the job, because his pork sword was a touch too pale as the sole reason seems like a wrong move.

And, in the age-old words of millions of people much wiser than me…don’t knock it ‘til you try it.