Let me first start by saying that this post is not about black men. This is about black women, and how some of them cling to the need to have a black man, no matter what the cost to their physical, spiritual and financial well being. This s about black women who see what is all around them, but do not heed. The candle of hope is still lit for their IBM to come as their beauty and often their fertility withers and shrivels.

The new thing is to claim that we here at BB&W are shaming women who want to only be with black men–that we’re somehow judging them for what they believe is a “natural and superior” romantic choice for black women. To find out who benefits from spreading the untruth that we’re shaming NBAB (nothing but a brother) black women, just look at who continues to propagate the lie.

Again, this post isn’t about black men and their dating choices that cross racial boundaries. This article is about black women and their inability to exercise all their dating choices. We see this play out with family and friends, but the public examples lend a more glaring reality.

Recent news that reality drama-queen Kenya Moore was crushed to discover that a man whom she thought would be her “king” married a woman he knew for just a handful of months. While Kenya was pinning for her “kang,” his royal self was sampling all the candy–not just the chocolates.

Then there was the news that crusty rapper Tyga is set to wed Kylie Jenner upon her 18th birthday. I wrote the following Facebook post about this…

In both cases, these black women were pushed to the side as the men in their lives exercised choices that had nothing to do with black women or their loyalty to them. They didn’t feel any heavy burden to “keep the race alive” or “save the melanin” or keep “Mr. Charlie” at bay. They were out for self.

As you should be.

And for all the black women who I know are lurking on this thread, go ahead and buy Swirling: How to Date, Mate & Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed. I wrote it just for you.

More on this subject.