This post is an extension of the thoughts I posited on my YouTube channel last night. While the video encapsulates my thoughts, I need to take it a bit deeper here.

(There were a couple of inaccuracies in that video…Stan has been married once.)

White women know this; Asian women know it better. But when it comes to mate selection – and a woman looking for a man to provide, protect, and produce – looks should be one of the LAST things you consider. Yes; at minimum, you shouldn’t be repulsed by the man you’re laying with but does he have to be David Beckham??

Black women have made so many, many mistakes prioritizing looks above substance. Many of us have never seen functional families, or have had the benefit of their mother’s instruction on how to select a husband. Therefore, we focus on the superficial–looks, swagger, the outer appearance of having money (even though most of these fools have credits scores of 100 and nothing but lint in their savings account). Poor mate selection is a primary reason we have a 72% out-of-wedlock rate, the highest unmarried rate, and the highest divorce rates. We, as a collective people, don’t know how to do this.

But it’s time we learn. As a black woman who has straddled white and black culture for most of my life, I can tell you some observations I have made. White and Asian women (in general) prioritize fitness and femininity, especially in their single years as they search for a mate. Why? Because they know men are visual. They know a man is hard-wired to be attracted to a certain waist-to-hip ratio, clear skin, and lush hair – all indicators of fertility. Now don’t get me wrong–females are also hard-wired for certain things like a preference for tall and muscular men, and the more “alpha” male. Women sought these things because there was a greater likelihood that her offspring would be healthy enough to survive beyond childhood, and the husband would be strong and fierce enough to protect his family from attack.

Now that neither of us are cavemen, smart women have refined their mate selection to adapt to the environments in which we live. Men no longer need to outrun lions to show their worth. Now they need to show capability for financial stability, and physical attributes generally take the backseat to a man’s ability to provide a good and safe lifestyle for his family. Men have evolved, too. Yes; looks are the first draw, but they’re also looking for capable, smart women, because that gives their offspring a better chance of success. See where I’m going with this? Today, men are looking for smart and aesthetically-pleasing mates. Women SHOULD be looking for men who display competency to provide, protect and produce in this modern environment.

Any woman who puts looks as priority in her life-mate selection is a fool, plain and simple. It’s the rare unicorn of a man in any race that is both gorgeous and brilliant and actually WANTS to be married and faithful to one woman. Take a look at these powerful men, and tell me what you notice about their wives.

Think I’m full of it? Well, let’s look at the research, shall we? From a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology:

Women seeking a lifelong mate might do well to choose the guy a notch below them in the looks category. New research reveals couples in which the wife is better looking than her husband are more positive and supportive than other match-ups.

The reason, researchers suspect, is that men place great value on beauty, whereas women are more interested in having a supportive husband.

Overall, wives and husbands behaved more positively when the woman was better looking.

The finding “seems very reasonable,” said Dan Ariely, a professor of behavioral economics at MIT’s Program in Media Arts and Sciences and Sloan School of Management. “Men are very sensitive to women’s attractiveness. Women seem to be sensitive to men’s height and salary,” said Ariely, who was not involved in the recent study.

In couples with more attractive husbands, both partners were less supportive of one another. McNulty suggests wives mirror, in some ways, the level of support they get from husbands.

“The husband who’s less physically attractive than his wife is getting something more than maybe he can expect to get,” McNulty told LiveScience. “He’s getting something better than he’s providing at that level. So he’s going to work hard to maintain that relationship.”

Men who are more attractive than their partners would theoretically have access to partners who are more attractive than their current spouses, McNulty said. The “grass could be greener” mentality could make these men less satisfied and less committed to maintain the marriage. [SOURCE]

Straight talk: if we are truly committed to elevating our status and position as women, we need to get our minds right. Have your fun with “Adonis Greg,” but marry and build a life with “Geeky Mark, head of accounting.”