Christelyn received this letter in her inbox the other day and because of my extensive time in Italy, she thought that I would be the best person to answer so here goes:
Hi Christelyn,
I am 20-yearold student that attends an HBCU and I will be venturing off to Roma, Italy in September for an internship and staying till the end of November. I have never dated before but I’m interested in Italian men.
From internet research, I find Italian men love black women and so on and so forth. Any advice on wanting to date an Italian ?
Thanks,
A.S.
Dear A.S,
What exciting news. You will absolutely love Rome. There is a large expat community there. My friend Patrizia di Gregorio runs
Expats Living In Rome. They have a lot of meet ups especially catering to introducing Americans to the natives.
My experience in Italy is that Italian men, especially south of Tuscany, truly appreciate the darker hued women and they are not shy about it. They view us as exotic and not in that strange fetish way, but in a ‘your different and beautiful way.’ They also view blondes the same.
In general, most Italian men are serial monogamers despite their reputation for being players–use your discretion here because I dated one who could not keep it in his pants, but he was a different case. For the most part, they are not [players]. They are smooth, charming and romantic but one night stands and flings are not common there. So if you do find yourself hooked up with one you may find that you are still seeing him after you have returned to the States, so prepare yourself for that.
Also, avoid the Italian men who are looking for a mistress. Having a mistress in Italy is very common but at the same time not and the women also have “misters”. These relationships actually ARE STILL monogamous in that the spouse knows about it and allows it and they tend to stay in these extra-marital relationships with the same person for years and sometimes a lifetime. It’s kinda like France in that respect.
The beautiful thing about Italian men is that you will never wonder where they stand, they are very direct and boy do they know how to use words and eye contact–the eye contact makes you want to jump in bed with them within five seconds, its pretty intense. I think they are taught this from toddler-hood. LOL. You are very lucky to be going to Roma, I personally love the crazy Roman and Sicilian men. Sicilians are even more faithful despite the stereotype.
Be aware of those vulgar fellas who will approach you as if you are a prostitute–the 2nd highest race of prostitutes in Italy are black–even though they know you are not. Don’t take it personally, they are just being a**holes. I tend to use this phrase when they approach me in said manner “quanto costa per la tua sorella?” This means “How much for your sister?” It lets them know they are being jerks and they tend to back off.
Some of my work with photographer Pasquale Salerno and model Renee Duclose in Florence Italy.
Do not take your American baggage with you. European societies do not have the same legacies as ours so what we would most times deem racist in America isn’t to them and in fact in most cases Europeans do not judge races but nationalities. Go with a scrubbed mind and think of yourself as an American woman because that is how everyone will see you.
While you are there make sure to visit Florence and Sicily since you will be close and I hope this has helped you. If not please feel free to leave a comment and I will respond.
