After 1,ooo+ videos and host of wins, losses, triumphs and heartbreaks, I have decided to pack it in on YouTube. If you want to know why, I’ll explain it this way. Hopefully you will understand.

Have you ever read the children’s book, The Giving Tree? If surrounds the lives of a female apple tree and a boy. Throughout each stage of the boy’s life, the tree is happy to give of itself. When the boy is little, the tree gives him her branches to play with and apples to eat. When he becomes a teenager and young man, he uses the tree get money in exchange for her apples, uses her branches to build himself a house, and her trunk to build a boat. Nothing is left of her but a stump, and when the man gets old, the giving tree is happy to give him a “quiet place to sit.”

Through all stages, the tree gave and gave and gave of herself until there was nothing left. She literally sacrificed her life for the boy that she loves, while he never ever gave her anything in return. Throughout all those stages, the tree was happy to just be in the presence of the boy, and that was all the thanks she needed.

I am not The Giving Tree.

For nearly 10 years, I provided FREE coaching videos for black women and non-black men in hopes to bridge the chasm between them and forge true loving and lasting relationships. Many of you found me through my YouTube channel and have been entertained and educated by them. I know for a fact that many people who stumbled upon my channel finally got the guts to pursue who and what they really wanted, and many went on to marry interracially.

But there has been a dark and ugly side to all of that. I have been maligned, my reputation tarnished, my children’s safety and privacy compromised, my husband besmirshed and lied on, horrible, ugly rumors and gossip spread about me, my life threatened, and more.

I stood up against it as long as I could, because I felt that what I was doing had a greater purpose. I was helping people. I was ready for the attacks from the He Man Black Woman Haters Crew, and nothing that they did really surprised me until one of them attempted to exploit my eight-year-old child. That was swiftly and mercilessly dealt with. You do not mess with my kids. I will end you.

Even then, I was willing to give of myself and trudge on. And then…I wasn’t.

When the very women I was trying to support, encourage and elevate betrayed me, and were willing to believe a host of lies and outlandish conspiracy theories from a Jackie-Come-Lately, and I saw the same women who comment on my YouTube channel go over to others’ channels and begin to doubt my intensions, I had had enough. If nearly 10 years of taking major hits for black women, 1,000 videos, a blog, a book, and a brand you STILL doubt my intentions, then there simply is nothing left to give. I am left as a stump, but I will NOT allow you to sit on me.

And with that, I have withdrawn my 100% access to my body of video work. It is now safely put away in ‘the vault’ for those who are willing to listen and ALSO give. I’m currently organizing and formatting them into an organized series. If you’d like to stay updated on when those interracial dating coaching videos will be re-released privately, you can join the mailing list here.

For the women: If you are interested in joining my inner circle and get access to unlimited coaching videos, join the Pink Pill community on Facebook. You gain access once you enroll in the course, and you can do so here.

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.